Archive for March 30th, 2011


March 30, 2011

There are a couple of stages of Karma. Instigator, defender & witness.

When earlier in my life I watched my son doing his homework, I would want to jump in and help. I resisted many times but one time I did manhandle the assignment and everyone knew. My wife knew, the teacher knew, his sister knew, my son knew . I was the only one that didn’t know.   My wonderful wife soon let me know and the teacher was extremely gracious about it and even kind of complimented me for being such a good Dad.  We can’t learn kids lessons for them. They have to do it themselves.  Sometimes we love our kids so much that we overdo it. 

You have a fight with your Mom. It’s a pretty good fight and grandma witnessed the whole thing. We say we’re sorry and move on.  We grow up, life goes on, you have kids.   Years later, you and your daughter have a fight.  It’s another good fight, this time your own mother sees it and just goes with the flow, it’ not her business so she doesn’t do anything.  We grow some more, our kids grow up, they have their own kids and they grow into teenagers.  You’re a Grandma now.   One day your daughter and granddaughter get into a serious fight, you see the whole thing.  All three roles are you.  You are the daughter, the mother and grandmother all at the same time.   You don’t really realize every facet of the Karma until the end.  You played all three roles, teenage instigator, Mother defender, Grandma witness.  Except that as the Grandmother you can play your last role in the scene, that is of you being the witness of your own teenage angst.

Meeting our Karma is more than just experiencing the event or action that we have committed or fulfilled.  Many times we will have to witness Karma and ourselves learn from that. We have to let others fulfil their own Karma.  We have to let others learn their own lessons. If we jump into the fray again we run the risk of making a bigger, deeper hole. We run the risk of relearning it all over again.  Sometimes the last vestige thread of our Karma is to witness it and do NOTHING. We created it, now we have to let it slip away. In many ways this is God’s toughlove position, we created it , we must dismantle it piece by piece.

This is part of the reason to not be judgemental and that we need to let others pick and choose their lives, it’s their lesson to learn.

My son is doing fine on his own, if he needs help he’ll ask.

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.

                                                 – Josh Billings