Recently it was brought to my attention that “I’ll never find what I’m looking for.” The point was made that it’s obvious that I’m searching and I need to settle. I disagree, no surprise here. I’m not purposely trying to surf or spin. I’m not trying to say I’m constantly dissatisfied. I’m not trying to be obstinate.
Much of what people think that I need to settle on is “an external object.” What’s my book? What religion am I in? Who’s my Savior? What teachings do I adhere to? I believe that I’m a spiritual being and that you are too.
I once read a story(recalled to the best of my memory) about a CIA analyst/Salt Treaty Advisor that was being interviewed on the history of the cold war and the US/Soviet Arms Race Buildup. He was questioned at length about the cold war, what it was, how it happened. The interviewer finally inquired on the Advisors’ role in the Salt Treaty. “Since you’ve worked for about 25 years monitoring the weapons and the Russians, why are you working with them now, what is different now?” he asked. The advisor put down his coffee and looked the interviewer right in the eye, “Yes, you’re right, I’ve been at this a long time. Most of my career, in fact. The difference today is that the Russians now are actually going to give something.” The interviewer looked at the analyst and said, “You mean you have sat in your chair for twenty-five years just waiting for the Russians.” The Analyst smiled and said “Yep, waiting for them to give something of value, something of substance and something real. Everything before this was just words, research and posturing. We now finally, after twenty-five years, really have something we can hang our hat on.”
That’s the way I feel.
Part of what I’m trying to say is “We aren’t there yet.” How can we be since the world is so divided?
Spirituality is a process, not an object. It has no beginning and no end. I or we, will never arrive. We can stand still(an illusion), step back or step forward but no matter what we are in constant spiritual flux.
I, as much or even more than others, would love to find that spot or Ideal realized. Like a moth to the flame, wouldn’t any of us sacrifice ourselves for greater and total reunion with God.
My position is not anxiousness, it’s Patience. It’s not wanderlust, but the insistence of Spiritual Certainty.
I believe that our greatest communion is self to God, our greatest values are worked through our community, and Truth & Justice transcends Religion and Borders.
For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
– Matthew 18:20